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Jul. 18th, 2010 02:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dasheroy_muffinsI am, first and foremost, a fairly practical person.
Not necessarily in the common-sense department, mind you, but in the emotional department. For instance, if I have a crush on someone but they're already involved, I can ignore it and go about my merry way in peace. Unfortunately, this goes both ways; if someone likes me, then I tend to start thinking that I should like them back. I don't know if this is because it would make all parties happy, or if I just have such low self-esteem that I figure I should take every romantic chance I get. And if there's no one biting at the hook, so to speak, I can deal with that. I can make it be a non-issue.
I can make all sorts of things go away. I can pretend everything's fine, and do it so well that I even convince myself. But sometimes I wish I couldn't ignore things as easily as I do. That I could, for once, be illogical and do something stupid and angry and irresponsible. I can't- I cannot- allow myself to be hateful or rude or cranky without feeling massive amounts of guilt. Because, after all, it doesn't pay to ruin friendships, right?
But sometimes I wish I could be less of a robot and actually make normal people-type screwups.
Not necessarily in the common-sense department, mind you, but in the emotional department. For instance, if I have a crush on someone but they're already involved, I can ignore it and go about my merry way in peace. Unfortunately, this goes both ways; if someone likes me, then I tend to start thinking that I should like them back. I don't know if this is because it would make all parties happy, or if I just have such low self-esteem that I figure I should take every romantic chance I get. And if there's no one biting at the hook, so to speak, I can deal with that. I can make it be a non-issue.
I can make all sorts of things go away. I can pretend everything's fine, and do it so well that I even convince myself. But sometimes I wish I couldn't ignore things as easily as I do. That I could, for once, be illogical and do something stupid and angry and irresponsible. I can't- I cannot- allow myself to be hateful or rude or cranky without feeling massive amounts of guilt. Because, after all, it doesn't pay to ruin friendships, right?
But sometimes I wish I could be less of a robot and actually make normal people-type screwups.
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sorry for barging in
Date: 2010-07-20 10:55 pm (UTC)initially I wanted to send it as a private message, but for some weird reason, I can't
so I just post it here
a few days ago I stumbled upon a fic called "Five Acts and a Damn Good Kisser" written by pickledgreen
unfortunately, the said fic had been abruptly stopped
I checked the author's lj page, and seen it hadn't been updated for ages.
now,
I know it's from a really long time ago,
but I wondered- do you know what happened to pickledgreen?
[you're on her {I think she's a she} friend list]
did she create a new account, or anything, did she continue that fic?
please, forgive my randomness
really sorry
may you have a wonderful week
galrandiel
Re: sorry for barging in
Date: 2010-07-21 02:29 am (UTC)Yeah... I have no idea what happened to her. It's a pity, because that was an excellent story, and I wanted to read the rest, but I only started reading after she'd quit writing it. I wish I knew where she went... I'm as lost and disappointed as you. XD
Sorry I couldn't help... you have a good week, too!
Re: sorry for barging in
Date: 2010-07-21 10:29 am (UTC)next time I should listen to my little voice who says that no matter how good the fic seems to be- if it's unfinished you should stay away ^_^
and thanks. anyhow ^^