dasheroy_muffins | Entries tagged with spazzing

HamletMachine (of Starfighter fame) has officially drawn Homestuck fanart.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

In other news, FUCK FINALS I AM SO READY TO BE DONE WITH THIS HORSESHIIIIIIIIT

i just want to go home for thanksgiving, sob

but first I have to finish writing a lab report and an annotated bibliography and study for two tests TT^TT

Currently having an ongoing ask-box conversation on Tumblr with one of my absolute favorite authors of the Homestuck fandom, who is giving me advice on books about trans* characters and trans* awareness for my school's LGBT organization...

WHEN DID I DIE
IS THIS HEAVEN

I enjoy writing fiction in second-person.

CAN'T BE TAMED

hoooooooommmmmmeeeeeeessssstttttttuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
yuussssssss

Okay. Dude #1. I don't want to date you. I'm sorry, I thought I did, but I didn't. We are just too incompatible. You upset me sometimes and don't even seem to realize it, and I just don't think I could live with that. But now I feel awful because you bought us Blue Man Group tickets (while rubbing in "jokingly" how expensive they were) for when I come visit you in Chicago next week, and now I don't know how to turn you down- not that you've ever actually asked me out, of course, but you've made your intentions quite obvious.

And all you people- my friends- who keep telling me how exciting it is that I'm going on a date with Dude #1, that they're so happy for me, that "hey, everyone-else-we-know, isn't it great that muffinsphinx is going out with Dude #1 now?" a. stfu it's none of your business, b. you make me feel worse, because it seems like it's such a rare occurrence that I get asked out that of course it's the most major thing in my life right now, and c. why are you bringing it up in front of ALL of our mutual friends? YOU FUCKER. GO TO HELL.

Dude #2. To reiterate, YOU FUCKER. GO TO HELL. It's not MY fault she doesn't want to date you. She already didn't. The main reason I yelled at you at that party was because she had TOLD me you were making her uncomfortable, and I wanted you to stop. Yes I was jealous and bitter, but that wasn't my main motivation. UNDERSTAND THIS. I did not ruin your life, okay? I'm torn between wanting you to forgive me and knowing that I did nothing fucking wrong.

Girl #1. Stand up for yourself, goddammit. You are part of the reason I'm in this shithole in the first place. You and Dude #2.

Dude #3. You are amazing and magnificent and I am so incredibly glad we are friends and so incredibly sorry we've all put you through so much shit. We've agreed you owe me cookies, but I'm pretty sure I owe you my sanity/as many hugs as you will accept/shittons of Mike's Hards.

Girl #2. Thank you for listening, about the Dude #2 debacle and college and feminism. And for use of your pool. All these things were much appreciated.

Girl #3. Goddammit, I missed you. I wish we could have stayed close during the year, but the second best thing is being close with you again now. But now I'm even more sad you're leaving for the whole summer this Sunday... ):

Girl #4. You actually don't exist, that I know of; you're that imaginary, dream girl that I'd love to snuggle with, or sleep with, or have sex with, or love, or all of the above. Please be out there, somewhere where I can find you. I really don't want to date a guy right now; it's time to take a break from them. If I dated a guy I'd be comparing all the things I've enjoyed about other guys, all the things I hated, and I don't want to compare. I want a new experience, to start over fresh. Please like me.

People need to quit asking me to make art for them right now. Srsly.

I have had multiple people demand more of Miranda and my webcomic, people demanding that I finish art wishes for them (which to be fair, they were supposed to be Christmas wishes... for 2009. But this is the worst possible time to ask for it), people asking me to draw for THEIR comics, people WHORING ME OUT (so to speak) TO OTHER COMIC AUTHORS WHO MAY NEED WRITERS. All on top of the fact that I am already working on a project for MIRA, a migrant workers' group. Not to mention my school work, which is- believe it or not- sort of important.

One of them, when I confronted him, even explained how helpful he was being to me. Artists take what they can get, he said. They grab jobs whenever they can and are grateful for them, he said. It's good publicity, he said.

AM I BEING AN ARTIST RIGHT NOW?
IS MY LIFE CURRENTLY DEVOTED TO MAKING A LIVING OFF MY ARTWORK?
AND ALSO

AM I BEING PAID FOR ANY OF THIS GODDAMN WORK?

NO.
SO STOP GODDAMN ASKING YOU DIRTY DIRTY DEMANDING DIMWITS.

I HAVE A FUCKTON OF ACTUAL WORK TO DO RIGHT NOW.

-this is not directed at any of the people who might read this, just the silly people IRL-

So: anyone here read Red String? It's a romance-based manga you can read for free online here.
If you don't, go read it. It's sappy at times, and cliché at others, but it's still an enjoyable read.

( cut for spoilers and possible triggers (since the trigger is spoilery, I guess I'll mention it under the cut?) )

Interesting things to realize about yourself! And now I understand why warnings on fics are so incredibly necessary.

In much less depressing news, I got to play with kittens at Petco today! One of them (he might actually have been older than a kitten, he seemed bigger) really liked my rain boots, and kept trying to grab at them. He liked my fingers, too. I had a good time.

I've also discovered my mom's new dog likes chewing on me. It hurts. And it appears that toe socks drive her even crazier. So that's something I'll have to avoid from now on if I want to keep my feet intact.

I want a kitty. ):

I'm BACK
and the world is FABULOUS
and I'm going to see a COUNSELOR soon
which is TERR-FUCKING-RIFFIC because it means that I am getting HELP
And now I can read MARQUIS DE SADE
which is PRETTY GROSS but interesting

Seriously though. Major breakdowns --> major breakthroughs. And I feel so much better now. But I'm still going to see the counselor/psychologist person at our school's health center, even if I don't feel like I need it right now, because hey! I wanna keep it up.

And now my friends here have all finished SPN season 3, so we can move on to season 4 and then rapidly to season 5... Fuck yes.

I'm moving tomorrow! Omg I think I have everything packed but I don't know... Yeesh.
So much packing, so much dust inhaled, so much last-minute panic... and I started packing like a week ago, so it's not all procrastination, either.

But yeah... this time tomorrow, I'll be in my dorm with my best friend, possibly watching Buffy or (more likely) dying of tiredness.

Wish me luck!

So my zoology/biology teacher really wanted me to make her something before I graduated, because I've been doodling on all my tests for two years, and she likes my artwork.

So like a dumbfuck, I decide, hey, why don't I make her a stuffed cuttlefish? A cuddlefish, get it? Hurr hurr. I thought it would be cute, and it'd be different than the other things people made her, which were:

-a giant fucking painting based off Georgia O'Keefe, and
-a giant fucking painting of dinosaurs. <i>Fucking dinosaurs.</i> How could my drawings compete with that? I draw on goddamn computer paper, for God's sake.

So then I realize that tomorrow is really the last day I'll be able to come visit her, because it's finals week starting Wednesday, and there's no way the office will allow visitors (since the seniors (including me) have already left and graduated, and need visitors' passes to come back) to wander around the school during finals week. So I start sewing.

And then I realize: I pretty much suck at making stuffed animals. And besides that, I was wildly optimistic about my abilities and how the thing'll turn out, which is always my problem with projects. So I've only made practice tentacles- not even the real ones- and they pretty much look like shit.

So my mom tells me, why don't you just make a drawing?

And I realize, that's really all she wanted from me anyway. Why the hell did I decide a stuffed animal would be appropriate?

I think it's just because my stuff will pale in comparison to what she's already gotten, and I like to be a special snowflake.

Fuck.

And there's so much I want to do this summer!
-work on 5 Stages (the renamed version of P:M:T (Psychic:Monster:Timebomb), because that title sucked)- CHECK.
-make stuffed animals.
-possibly SELL stuffed animals if they don't suck too bad. Yay etsy or Deviantart! Or something!
-make some more t-shirt designs and possibly sell those, too.
-stop sucking at drawing anatomy! I mean, holy God. Those arms are TERRIBLE. And I'm not even gonna mention the legs. Or shoulders or backs or ankles or hands or wrists or neck and yeah, I need to get better.
-Do more realistic drawing!- Check? I'm improving every day...
-learn to play more COMPLETE SONGS on the piano. Such as With Pearly from Phoenix Wright: Justice For All www.youtube.com/watch check!
or Maya's Theme from the same game www.youtube.com/watch
or even The Steel Samurai theme from the same game, again www.youtube.com/watch
if I feel particularly ambitious. NOT CHECK, but I'm animating Steel Samurai, so....
Videogame music is fun to play on the piano... especially when it's easy to learn, such as the 8-bit-type music found in Phoenix Wright!
-write my OWN music on the piano. CHECK.

Maybe I'll paint a bit this summer too... I enjoyed painting on canvas, the one time I did it. The only thing is, I'd have to buy more paint, and I'd have to actually start painting WELL. But whatevs.

I'm gonna start with the music and stuffed animals, I think.

Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Eccentric, from PhoenixWright: Justice For All OST